Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear.
49.95$ A Quarter
Ships 4 times a year by the bane of my existence, FEDEX.
Chances are you’ve hung around facebook in the last few weeks and have seen a sponsored ad running about that states that “FabFitFun is the highest rated subscription box!” I am here to highly contest these claims. When I think of Fall, I think leaves and pumpkin spiced items from over-scented room sprays to peanuts and every single baked good under the sun. I do not think of this random hodgepodge (totally bringing back that word yo) as very “Fall-esque” in the least. This box feels like a box of sponsored items. Two items actually are sponsored items, which isn’t a big deal but yeah, you’ll see below.
Each box comes with an info card which heaven only knows why I chose to take the photo this way. My apologies for the very clearly unreadable foldable card which would in theory, be perfectly lovely and adequate if I had taken it at a better angle.
I need to just change the name of the blog to “Sorry for the info cards.”
Also something I need to touch on – this box ships FedEx Smartpost. Normally FedEx isn’t a bad thing to regular folks but when you live in a rural area like I do, FedEx is the worst delivery service you can have. This box took 17 straight days to arrive from California because it kept returning to their Grove City Ohio outpost. I have contacted FedEx in the past about this, there was one package that was lost for a straight month because it was in Grove City hell, and all they would tell me is that it is constantly rerouted back to that outpost until they have another package going to my next closest outpost, which is in Ashland KY. This box bounced back and forth between Grove City and where our driver was going for a straight week – surely some other lone package was headed to KY during that time. Personally I think the driver throws it on the truck then forgets its there, thus scanning it back to “Arrived at Grove City.” I had a full page of “Grove City Ohio” arrived and departed, it was like a horrible love story, but FedEx finally condensed it into one one before updating the tracking to look like it hadn’t moved in a week.
I have great disdain for FedEx. I purposefully don’t order things, be it sub boxes or otherwise, if the company utilizes FedEx because I am guaranteed to never get it by the expected delivery date. I’ve had issues with items being stolen off trucks, sub boxes being delivered to the entirely wrong state, or just being dented beyond recognition. They also arrive in Budget trucks, which is hilarious in its own right.
Lengthy monologue aside (if you’re still here through all that you’re a trooper), let’s get to the review.
LaNatura Travel Size Body Butter – 18$
On what planet is a tiny tub of vaseline that smells like sweaty lemons 18$? Ugh. I do appreciate that it’s an all vegan balm but the scent is very mislabeled. This smells like a lemon tree in late Summer that’s a bit past its prime. It’s not unpleasant but if this is what they believe a pomegranate is supposed to smell like then I will personally ship them a pomegranate to educate themselves.
That being said, it’s a perfectly adequate moisturizing balm. Just overpriced.
Honest Company Bar Soap – 4.95$
I haven’t tried Honest Company items though I’ve heard excellent things about specific goodies – I think they also have their own sub box of their personal products. This is just a standard soap bar that smells like coconut. It cleans like any other soap bar, nothing particularly revolutionary.
Great Soles Pink Ribbon Ballet Barre Ped – 12$
These are cute enough, but if you’re like me and have feet long enough to rival sasquatch, you have zero use for these. Are they cute? Yes. Will they be gifted? Yes.
Dermalogica Skin Hydrating Booster – 56$
I have never been so angry at a little overpriced bottle of skincare in my life. I could not get this open. Several assistants couldn’t get this open. I lack either the physical strength, dexterity or motor skills to twist the cap off this damn bottle. Grr.
Jessie Steele Apron – 32$
This was a spoiler (as was the dermalogica) for the box one of the very few pseduo-fall items available. It’s about to be the “cook like you’re competing in an olympic game for cooking” time of the year so this is a practical item while being adorable – but it’s also more adorable for those ladies who are considerably thinner than I am and can get that cute little dress look out of it. I look like I swallowed a thinner woman and am wearing her apron as a pelt.
Yes, I am tall, I am wide, and my feet would make effective weapons. Hence this apron stays sealed and will probably be gifted.
Beauty For Real True Color Lip Cream – “Always There” – 22$
Fact: If a product has quirky, unique, or cute packaging I will instantly like it regardless of the quality. It could be something completely obscure like motor oil, I don’t judge. This mauvey rose matte lip cream has a doe foot applicator, a mirror on the side, and it lights up. It’s lit up in the photo, E.T. didn’t possess it.
I hate this as a lip product, but I love it as a novelty. Has anyone even heard of this brand? This reminds me of one they’d send in Lip Factory.
CHI 44 Iron Guard – 14.50$
I always need more flat iron spray because I am within constant proximity of a heat styling tool, so this was a welcome addition, but yeah… what’s Fall about this? The candy apple red color? It smells lovely, though. It smells very similar to Beauty Protector’s Protect and Defend if you’re familiar with that brand.
Gramr Gratitude Co Thank You Card Set and Wax Press – 43$
This is actually kinda neat in a very rustic sorta way. It comes with four thank you postcards, four envelopes, a wax stick and the press itself. I always wanted to do the wax seals though I don’t think my electric servicer would appreciate it. These guys actually have their own subscription service at around 16$~ per month, and there’s a coupon in the FFF box for half off your first box.
I am strongly considering subscribing because I actually like weird stuff like this, despite having all of one contact in my address book and I live with her.
This also came with a 3-month subscription to a digital subscription of Fit-Fusion, which is a fitness e-magazine with videos and workouts and motivational goodies. I have zero interest in this because it requires movement. Personally I don’t think you should have to pay for a fitness magazine either but that’s just me being a miser.
So yeah this box was clearly not a win for me – very hit and miss and very not-fall-like in any sense except for some weird pseudo-sense. I know peeps in the facebook group I was in were tripping all over themselves for the dermalogica, so if you’re one of those people, I wish you luck in opening the bottle, but also you’ll be thrilled to know this box is still available and you can get it by clicking here. Use code FALL5 for 5$ off too.
FabFitFun ships out quarterly and this was totally not a box for me so I will most likely be cancelling and putting my 50$ towards chocolate.
Beeju paid for this box. All opinions are my own. This post contains an affiliate link.